Lord, can you hear me?

I don't have a true point to writing this post today. I just need to put some things down in writing that have been in my head for a while. In some ways i guess you would call it relieving the cranial pressure.

I will be in good ole Manhappenin for the summer, which is good and bad. Good- because i get to work and retake a class i didn't do so hot in. Bad- because yet again i will not be able to spend the needed time with my mother and sisters.

This is the longest i have been away from home. If i try not to think about it, its easier. Which is also why i don't call home very much at all, its easier for me to deal with the separation. Some of my friends tell me that when i was in Garden, i was still sucking from the tit. Which, I kinda was. I went home at least every two weeks if not every weekend. I always talked to my mom, everyday, and we even took a class together my last semester there. That was fun! It really was. The class was called Sociology of Marriage and Families. And, it was pretty much the perfect class to take with a parent. It was definitely a growing experience for my mom and I. I am going home at the end of may for a week and then again in June for 4 days. Woot! I am pretty excited. I can't wait for the day that my family can be back together again. It has been a long time coming. We have been separated on and off since my freshman year of high school up until now. My mother has adjusted to being a single parent and my father (whether he would admit it or not) has somewhat adjusted to the life of a bachelor. Of course, we are still a family but it is NOT healthy for us to be apart and it has put strains on our relationships with each other more than you could ever believe. I am sorry if this offends anyone, but i am tired of feeling like i am in a broken family. My parents are not divorced or separated. They are just physically separated because of his job. I hate talking about my family being apart and having people that don't know me think that my parents are divorced, because they are so far apart from each other. Its so frustrating because we shouldn't be like this. No one's family should have to be like this. I pray and pray and pray every day for God to reunite us under the same roof. I pray for God to help our house sell in Lakin. It has been on the market for over a year now. WHY?! I can tell you why, because no one wants to live in piece of crap, boondocks, Lakin! All i can do is pray. And all I can do it wait.

I definitely didn't mean for this post to be a ranting session. But, it seems like everytime i put some thought into my family and our situation, i get so overcome with anger and sadness that i can't help and truly express how i feel about it.

Curve Ball...thanks Life

Woot for my first post. Isn't this exciting...

Life is throwing quite the curve ball right now. I am trying to figure out how to deal. Old friends are reviving their friendships with me, exboyfriend is talking to me (wierd...), school is skinning my hide (quite painful), work is good, C4C is awesome (those are about the only two things). My family is still trying to sell the house (yeah right, no one wants to live the the middle of effing nowhere) and no luck there. Its been for sale for quite some time now.
Right now i am strongly disliking our armed forces. Just seeing what it has done to families around me and my family also is very disheartening. I dream to see the day when my whole family can live under the same roof again, for more than a few months. We have been apart now for going on 7 years on and off. Its horrible. But, then again it shows what wonderful people my parents are and how they have really relied on God to get us through these trying times. But, i am still more negative than positive on this subject. It is probably one of the main stresses in my life, and i am sick of it.

My mood now is nostalgic. Just in case you wanted to know. I am missing my life and friends in GC. I was definitely way closer to them than any of the people here in Manhappenin. No offense to those at KSU. But, thats just the way it is. Although the friends at GC3 were worse influences on me, they were still awesome friends and I felt completely and utterly accepted. I didn't have to prove myself or anything. Nobody cared about your background, as long as you could hang out, have fun, and be there for each other.